Christmas crackers or bon-bons are an integral part of Christmas celebrations in the UK, Ireland, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, South Africa and other Commonwealth countries as well as countries of the former Soviet Union (where it is called “хлопушка”). A cracker consists of a cardboard tube wrapped in a brightly decorated twist of paper, making it resemble an oversized sweet-wrapper. The cracker is pulled by two people, and, much in the manner of a wishbone, the cracker splits unevenly. The split is accompanied by a small bang produced by the effect of friction on a chemically impregnated card strip (similar to that used in a cap gun).
In one version of the tradition the person with the larger portion of cracker empties the contents from the tube and keeps them. In another each person will have their own cracker and will keep its contents regardless of whose end they were in. Typically these contents are a coloured paper hat or crown; a small toy or other trinket and a motto, a joke or piece of trivia on a small strip of paper. Crackers are often pulled before or after Christmas dinners or at parties.
Enjoy the following jokes, remember most of them are made of puns.
Question: What’s red and white and black all over?
Answer: Santa Claus after he slid down the chimney.
Q. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A. Because he had low ‘elf‘ esteem.
Q. Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
A. Because he couldn’t concentrate.
Q. How do Snowman travel around?
A. By riding an icicle.
Q. Where do Snow-women like to dance?
A. At Snowballs.
Q. What happened when Guy ate the Christmas decorations?
A. He went down with tinsel-itis.
Q.Do you know the joke about the butter?
A.I’m not going to tell because you’ll spread it around.
Q.What did the sea say to the sand?
A.Nothing, he just waved.
Q.What do you get if you cross a stereo with a refrigerator?
A.Cool music
Q.What do you call someone who makes clothes for rabbits?
A.A hare dresser.
Q.On which sid do chickens have most feathers?
A.On the outside.
Q.How did the human cannonball lose his job?
A.He got fired.
Q.Where do fish get their petrol?
A.Shell.
Q.What is the biggest ant?
A.The elephant.
Q.What should a prizefighter drink?
A.A punch.
Q.What was a bed but does not sleep, and a mouth but does not speak?
A. A river
Q.Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they are flying?
A.Because they would quack up.
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